It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia has been on the airwaves since 2005 and is one of the longest-running American sitcoms of all time. As well as being a show about a horrible group of friends who hate the world and each other, throughout the years, Dennis, Mac, Dee, Frank, and Charlie have shown off their vocal talents through a whole host of songs, ditties, and melodies. Sadly, nearly all of their musical endeavors tend to end in failure or humiliation, but that doesn’t stop them from being hysterical. As the show enters its 14th season on September 25th, it’s time to take a look back at some of Paddy’s Pubs’ greatest hits.

Trash Song

When “The Gang Recycles The Trash” after the local garbage men go on strike they decide the best way to go about things is in the classiest way possible. Instead of a van the guys opt for a limousine, instead of uniforms they choose tuxedo’s and rather than just offer their services by simply knocking door to door and telling potential customers of their service, Dennis, Mac and Charlie think  the best technique would be to give out as much information as possible in the style of a barbershop triplet. Luckily people are desperate to get rid of their trash despite not having the patience to sit through an entire musical number.

Magic In The Air

When Frank runs into the bar with such panic he falls over and breaks his nose, it’s because he accidentally signs the bar up for a children’s beauty pageant. At first, the gang is understandably uncomfortable with the situation. Then when they realize that this is another platform to perform themselves, they jump at the opportunity. The opening number is a jazz scat, 60’s club-style tune called “Magic’s In The Air” and it sets the tone for the following insanity that is about to ensue.

Tiny Boy, Little Boy, Baby Boy

“The Nightman Cometh” is the name of Charlie’s self-penned musical and the episode has proved so popular that the cast of It’s Always Sunny have actually gone on to perform it live at various events. As such it contains some of the best Sunny songs and the first on our list “Tiny, Boy Little Boy, Baby Boy. “Intended as an expression of childhood innocence, the  unintended pedophilic undertones seep through (as they do with the rest of the musical) leaving Sweet Dee to improvise an ending where she explains she is interested in baby boy’s but is single and looking if any men want her number after the show, much to the chagrin of Charlie.

What Are The Rules?

In the episode, “The Gang Turns Black” the gang does exactly that, awakening from an electrical storm power serge to find themselves trapped in the body an African American family. On top of that, they also appear to be part of a musical and the episodes refrain is the song “What Are The Rules” which reappears every-time our heroes try to get to the bottom of the mystery.

Are they trapped in The Wiz, the film they were watching before the accident? Or have they “Quantum Leaped” and need to change history? Just what are the rules!?

 Moms Stink

Another song from “Frank Reynold’s Little Beauties”, Dee finds herself in a rivalry with one of the beauty pageants child contestants and decides to mentor her enemies uninterested older sister into winning the competition. Despite the jovial tone of “Mom’s Stink” the double acts song quickly escalates into a hateful anthem showcasing Dee’s contempt for her own mother. Needless to say, the moms in the audience aren’t impressed.

How Did They Know?

Back to “The Gang Turns Black,” Sweet Dee’s Quantum Leap theory is strengthened when she and Frank find Scott Bakula in an old folk home. Sadly Scott isn’t Sam, the character he played on the popular time travel show, but the star himself hit upon hard times. His epic soliloquy “How Did They Know” is a lament of missing his past Hollywood lifestyle and coming to terms with his new role as a cleaner.

Troll Toll

Frank’s big number from “The Nightman Cometh.”  Frank plays the titular troll, the guardian of the boy of whom Mac’s “Nightman” must pay a fee to gain access to the boy’s soul. Unfortunately Frank’s pronunciation of “boy’s soul” sounds a lot like “boys hole” and the sexual confusion of the musicals tone continues, especially when Mac tries to enter the boy (after displaying his karate skills across the stage, of course).

Birds Of War

Showing their patriotism in The Gang Wrestles For The Troops, the gang attempt to put on a wrestling show. Mac, Dennis, and Charlie form a stable called the Birds of War and perform their own theme during their ring entrance. The song helps clarify the entrance dance moves (stomp clap, stomp-stomp clap) and the fact that they have feathers like birds but the muscles of men (which are crudely drawn onto their bodies). Of course, no one in the crowd joins in on the stomping and clapping, leaving the boys to freeze-frame as their bird noises are amplified by deafening silence.

Go F**k Yourself

When “The Gang Tries Desperately To Win An Award” they change everything about themselves in order to gain some respect from the best bar of the year judges. Of course, nothing goes to plan so as a last-minute desperate attempt to succeed they allow Charlie to sing his cheery new Paddy’s Pub theme song.

Unfortunately, Charlie has been locked in the basement huffing paint and decides to perform his decisively less cheery tune about the spiders that live in his soul.  The song builds to an epic crescendo and under the rallying lyrical cry “I don’t need your trophies or your gold, I just want to tell you all go f**k yourself’s” the gang decides to evict everyone from the bar via the method of spitting.

Dayman

Probably the most famous song in It’s Always Sunny, “Dayman” has appeared in not one but two episodes. Its first appearance is in “Sweet Dee’s Dating A Retarded Person” as Dennis and Charlie’s band “Electric Dream Machine” perform it during a Paddy’s Pub concert. A more complete version is sung during the finale to Charlie’s musical “The Nightman Cometh.” The song tells of the battle between the Dayman and the Nightman, the Dayman proving victorious as he is the master of both karate and friendship.