One of the most appealing traits of the iconic James Bond franchise is the vast array of cool, amusing gadgetry. From plastic explosive toothpaste to remote-controlled cars, there’s no shortage of technological tools for the elusive, sly 007 to help get him out of a pinch.
Indeed, much of the exciting action throughout this vast film saga comes in the form of the Quartermaster’s handy tech. Still, with several dozens of strange and innovative gadgets, there are bound to be some ineffective, impractical, and downright goofy ones.
So let’s grab our shaken Martinis as we examine the 5 best gadgets from this awesome action series, as well as the 5 worst.
Worst: Phone Booth Trap (Goldeneye)
For one, this device was never even used in Goldeneye - although how could it, given its impracticality? Apparently, Q had rigged a phone booth (or constructed a fake one) which would set off what seems to be a giant airbag designed to crush the unsuspecting victim.
It would be quite the longshot in getting your target to make their way inside this particular booth, which would be a pain to haul around to the designated spot. It seems like an unnecessarily ineffective way to take out an opponent - if it worked at all. Like a variety of other sillier Bondgadgets, this thing is essentially a setup for a gag moreso than an actual device integral to the plot.
Best: Cloaking BMW (Die Another Day)
One of the trademark features of Bond films is the variety of sleek, high-end cars, from the iconic Aston Martin DB5 to luxury Rolls Royces to Brosnan-era BMWs. These cars have often been a significant extension of Q’s gadgetry, coming equipped with everything from parachutes to deadly gas to rockets.
Still, it’s tough to get much cooler than a camouflage BMW, covered completely with titanium armor. It’s on the tacky side, like Die Another Day itself, but it’s nonetheless a slick and useful bit of sophisticated tech.
This thing’s not infallible, as it uses cameras surrounding the vehicle to project the image it sees on the opposite side, making it only appear mostly invisible. Still, speeding around in this thing the way Bond does makes it virtually impossible to detect, and allows for much simpler covert-ops.
Worst: Laser Polaroid Camera (Licence To Kill)
The Bond era of the late ’80s wasn’t always the most memorable, and this extends to the rather strange and tepid gadgetry during this time - the neat explosive toothpaste notwithstanding. One of the lamer pieces of equipment has to come in the form of the now-outdated and clunky-looking Polaroid camera which fires a laser and snaps an x-ray when shot.
It’s a pretty impractical device, as it requires the user to whip out and aim properly before taking some seconds for the slow-beaming laser to hit its target.
Best: Laser Wristwatch (Goldeneye)
Just like his stylish automobiles, Bond has frequently relied on his sophisticated and often deadly array of wristwatches to aid him in his missions. The pinnacle of the elite watches, fit for a 007 Agent, has to be the Omega Seamaster Professional, featured in Goldeneye.
This watch doesn’t just look sleek - it comes equipped with a powerful concentrated laser beam that can cut through just about anything, as well as a remote detonator. Both of these functions prove quite handy during Bond’s perilous struggle with the Janus crime syndicate in Goldeneye.
Worst: Pocket Snap Trap (Diamonds Are Forever)
This device comes off more as an unnecessarily cruel prank or a deterrent for street dwellers to stave off muggers rather than a high-end gadget an MI6 Agent would use. But alas, this was given to Bond to fend off fully-armed enemies in Diamonds Are Forever. The device is essentially a jacked-up mousetrap, which forcefully clamps onto the victim upon reaching in Bond’s rigged jacket pocket.
It’s something of a longshot, given the thing is non-lethal, and the target must reach into the exact pocket when being searched, after which Bond still must overpower him. Though, somehow, it actually manages to work in the film. Hey, a little luck never hurt - and 007 has had his share over the years.
Best: Ericsson JB988 Mobile Phone (Tomorrow Never Dies)
It sure seems like Pierce Brosnan’s version of 007 gets to play with some of the coolest gadgets. Such is the case with this super handy mobile phone, the Ericsson JB988, which houses a number of useful features. You’ve got a potent stun gun that can zap his foes and disarm electronic locks, a fingerprint scanner/transmitter which can hack into fingerprint ID devices, and a detachable lock pick.
And we haven’t even gotten to its coolest feature - the ability to remotely drive his BMW with a simple touchpad! This isn’t just a fun and useful trait, but it also makes for one of the most epic car chase scenes in Bond filmography and surely the highlight of Tomorrow Never Dies.
Worst: Fake Nipple (The Man With The Golden Gun)
There’s something amusing about one of the sliest, most practiced 00 Agents ever, whose equipped with sophisticated tech, being reduced to adorning a prosthetic nipple in order to bamboozle his foes. In one scene during The Man With The Golden Gun, Bond is sent on a mission to go undercover and meet with a gangster under the guise of a hitman named Francisco Scaramanga; the chief villain.
As the gangster meeting him has not seen this hitman, Band and Q decide that this defining feature is all that’s needed. It seems a bit silly that this criminal organization would fall for such a simple stunt, but hey - it works. Who needs loads of powerful, complex gadgetry when you can fool your foe with a fake nipple? Go figure.
Best: Lotus Esprit Submarine Car
The Roger Moore film, The Spy Who Loved Me remains one of the most renowned and iconic Bond films, thanks in part to its awesome array of gadgets - along with memorable villains like Jaws.
Enter the Lotus Espirit car - a vehicle that can transform into a submarine on the fly. This sleek auto/watermobile glides through the seas with speed and efficiency with its 4 fins that replace its wheels. On top of this, it can fire rockets and silently drop devastating mines.
Worst: Fake Crocodile (Octopussy)
This gadget/disguise is roughly as simplistic as the prosthetic nipple used in The Man With The Golden Gun, while somehow looking even more ridiculous.
This is essentially a submersible with a fake crocodile slapped on top. It’s clearly meant for James to approach his target undetected, but one would think that an unusually stiff, subdued crocodile floating towards dry land would garner more stares. Couldn’t Q come up with something better than a glorified prop? Some cloaking scuba gear, perhaps?
Best: 00 Personnel Briefcase (From Russia With Love)
It’s a shame that one of 007’s coolest, most useful gadgets hasn’t been seen on screen since From Russia With Love, well over 5 decades ago. This handy toolkit - which is also described in Ian Fleming’s 1957 novel by the same name - is laced with all sorts of goodies.
This elaborate case is loaded with an AR-7 .22 calibre survival rifle, hidden compartments with ammo, as well as a slot that feeds dozens of gold sovereigns. The case is also largely a weapon in and of itself, as it features a tear gas cartridge fastened to the side - ready to detonate if it’s opened by the wrong person - and a deadly knife that pops out. It doesn’t get much more useful or versatile than this!
Next: 007: The 10 Best Bond Movie Henchmen, Ranked
